Blessings from My Stolen Years
Apr 16, 2014 Wednesday, April 16, 2014 | 0 comments

"The deep soul you are, the big heart you have and the generous way you live your life is what, in the end, will make you beautiful. No one can give you that beauty and do not let them take away what is rightfully yours." - Charlotte Hilton Anderson

I spent the entire day yesterday contemplating taking down my previous blog post. 
But after sleeping on the idea of running away, reducing the damage, and hiding that piece of past from as many people as possible, I decided to keep it.

Admitting flaws is hard especially when it's a hit-home, but opening up old wounds is the only way to truly heal from bad stitches. 

So today, I choose to be grateful.
Not gonna lie: there's a huge part of me who would still opt to take the Time Turner and slap my past self silly, but there's always a silver lining somewhere! 

1. I am grateful for my body.
Honestly, my body has been so magically kind. Despite losing a third of my entire self, my body was functioning relatively well even at my worst state at a weight of 28kgs. I never lost my body heat or had any serious complication normally faced by other sufferers. My bone density had always been at a greatly healthy state, and my medical report was as good as any regular teen. Even until now, I rarely ever get sick; and even if I do, I recover within a day. 
I'm grateful that my body has been doing well and worked hard to keep my alive. I'm grateful that didn't do too much harm to it. I'm grateful I am alive. 

2. I am grateful for the people who truly cares.
The funny thing was that I never really noticed how much weight I lost until I was confronted several times by different people. It's really these times you truly find out who really cares. And I am sorry I didn't make it easy and got really offended cause I couldn't see how I wasn't taking care of myself.

3. I am grateful for supportive parents.
I can't remember 95% of the things that happened then, but having to see me disappear had to be difficult. My parents had been so supportive and spent so much time keeping me company when I was sent away. My mom bought me extra supply of food because she knew I couldn't wait to restore my weight, and my dad made sure I had adequate entertainment, constantly bringing books and DVDs. 
What I'm most thankful of is that my health slip up was left in the past by everyone in my family. They still love me no less, and I cannot love them more. 

4. I am grateful for loving siblings. 
I have siblings with the hearts of giants. My brother was probably too young to remember anything, but my sister is an angel. 
She has been such a wonderful friend. She had been by me in my worst states, seen me with the worst tantrums, and had always been there for me when I couldn't pull myself together for whatever reasons. She is the first person I think of whenever I see hilarious Tumblr posts, the first person I want to talk to whenever I think of a terrible pun, and the only person I trust to pour my feelings to. 
Yes, we do fight occasionally - and this is where my brother comes to play haha. Despite being 6 whole years younger, he's so very understanding, and his sense of humour deserves a whole other separate post haha. 
I am constantly so thankful and aware of how incredible blessed I am to have such forgiving and accepting siblings. Seriously so so so blessed.

Quoting Bob Carlisle, "with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right", to deserve such immense amount of love and care. ♥

5. I am grateful for a chance to rediscovery myself.
The biggest gift wrapped behind all is for me to realize that there is a part of me that needs to be further understood. The fact that I lost so much of myself was only a sign that I had a big part of me to find.
Reading a million articles about things I find relevant led me to a whole new perspective of everything and a wonderful beginning of soul searching. Each day I learn more about myself and the universe. (I try very hard to not sound like a Ghandi really, but it's so hard when you have to say things like souls and universe 🙈🙈🙈)

But it all lies in the past and can only remain there forever, and it's my responsibility to let go of all that no longer serve me.

So now, I thank my past for all that I have learnt, for opening new doors and directing me to realize new possibilities, to unfold as it should, and landing me right here. There is no such thing as coincidences. Everything is synchronized as such for a reason, be it a blessing or a lesson.

I'm thankful that I have things easy: all I need is to remember to eat more and not let my emotions get too tied up with my appetite. I'm blessed for not having to deal with brain demons like some other. It's not easy to physically stomach so much food but I trust my body and I will get by with love.
Because this, too, shall pass. 😊😊

If you made it all the way here, thank you for reading!
I love you in amount of mountains ♥♥♥ ×××