Bye

I don't know where else to go. 

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Exams are near. The syllabus is building into a list of reasons to have panic attacks

I don't say this, but I am terrified.
A couple of days back, I accidentally slipped into the thought of "what if I don't make it" and I felt my heart palpitate almost immediately.
I have to do this. I have to make it. There are no options. 

It has been a three year marathon, and I am exhausted. Every time I hit this time of the semester I am torn between wanting a lot more time so I don't have to fall back to the life of surviving on naps and minimal sleep for a little more than a month, and praying that everything would end faster even if it means I'd burn out.

I don't know how healthy it is to lose pounds of myself every time exams are near. I haven't grew pass 38 kilos since high school because I can't keep my weight on from all the all-nighters and disturbed sleep. How is it even right to feel guilty from wanting sleep, needing sleep, and sleeping at all?

You know what's the worst? 

Right now, I want to write a really long post and try to make sense of at least a tiny part of everything, but even phrasing my thoughts is a luxury I cannot afford.

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(not proof-read, probably wont proof-read lol sorry)

Thank you for reading ❤ 

I hope your days are better than mine.

I wish for you heartfelt passion and happiness of all kinds.

Loving you in amounts of eclipse I've eaten today (which is a lot).

Please sleep on my behalf and send me love and good vibes.

I hope it rains flowers in your dreams today ❤