More change

It really is insane how quickly life can change. 

There were few moments in my life where my reality took a 180 and i barely recognize the world i live in. 

Right now, I'm sitting in a room i have never set foot in until 3 months ago, in a residence ive been to maybe 5 times in my lifeline, in a sweater i have first seen only a month ago. The people who are my constants now are mostly people who ive never met / have lost touch with until less than half a year ago. 

New job, new space, new constants - all in half a year-ish. 

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and change is terrifying. 

It's watching the pieces of yourself you are most familiar with fall apart - sometimes, as you are tearing it apart. It is free falling not knowing where you may land. It is removing yourself from an environment you have learnt the patterns of and putting faith in an ideal that, at the point of change, feels so far and intangible. 

It is letting go of everything you know for a chance that what may come will be closer to what you truly desire. 

but change is also necessary (and sometimes, involuntary)

We cant be the same person we were 10 years ago. The only thing as terrifying as change is the thought of living in a loop - doing the same thing and having the same thoughts over and over again perpetually with little to no variation, never knowing or questioning what may or could be. 

So i guess it's all about choosing your terrifying. 

but speaking from experience, time and exposure does change a person whether you like it or not. And when the change becomes radical and you have expanded as a person, what that had been a comforting warm hug feels a tight squeeze, and the way to ease resistance would be for you to inevitably remove yourself. 

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and i take comfort in my constant constants. 

Einstein's first law of conservation of energy states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, but can only be changed from one form to another. 

It is law that nothing that has been taken will not be replaced with something that is a better match for you on a vibrational level. And it is law that, as the field shifts, only those that are compatible to your energy can stay. It is simply the law. 

Blessed are the ones who are able to change with poise and ease, but the lucky ones are those who are able to keep a few constants close no matter how much they change. I like to call them the forever people / gravity. Much like gravity to earth, it doesn't matter how much the world has changed, gravity is always relevant, and is always there. 

and it quiets my mind knowing that, no matter how much change has / will happen, if they are your forever people, they will always be there. and those who don't make it through weren't yours to keep anyway. 

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So I am grateful. 

I'm grateful for the chaos of change that (on hindsight) was very much inevitable. 

I'm grateful for the comfort that was a safety net i outgrew, for all the parts it has played in my past, directly or indirectly contributing to making me the version i am today. 

I'm grateful for new experiences and the opportunity to grow. 

and I'm grateful for change. 

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(not proof-read as usual haha) 

thank u for reading xx

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first long(er) piece in a long time 

honestly i had no idea what this piece was going to be about

but here we are hahahah

i guess, if all else fails

words will always be my forever constant 

ily xxxx