learning/unlearning

someone once asked me if i could turn back time, where would i go and what would i do differently.

i ponder about this all the time, and think about all the mistake, things ive said that i regret, things i didnt do/say and regret, and about a million moments i wish i could relive. 

i wish i learnt about the importance of sunscreen earlier.

i wish i'd given that scholarship a shot and experience studying abroad.

i wish i spent more time with my grandmothers. 

i wish i had learnt to live/laugh/love sooner.

i wish i had taken the chance when a mutual friend advised to buy in on bitcoin when it was 100bucks a pop wtf

but thats what life is like isnt it - living and learning, going through the mud you put yourself in and come out clean on the other side.  

at 30 almost 1, im still learning and unlearning. 

learning to relax and quiet my brain, unlearning the need to be constantly on the go

learning to just enjoy things, unlearning having to let everything i do have a purpose. 

learning to let go let god/universe/meta wtf, unlearning having to have everything under control

learning to trust and rely on others, and unlearning hyper-independence

and unlearning is so much harder than learning

and i think its going to be like this forever - learning and unlearning

because change is always happening and change is always needed

and change is good

because afterall,

isnt the purpose of life to experience it all and have a little fun while at it 

xx