Of resolutions.
Jan 24, 2014 Friday, January 24, 2014 | 0 comments

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(I had every intention to blog an advertorial blog post, but it somehow spiralled very much off-course and landed on this wtf)

I rarely, if ever, publicly publish any of my resolutions. Mainly because I am terrified of not being able to accomplish these promises; and lo and behold, I never do fml.
And I think I know exactly why.

If there's one thing I learnt from the few hundreds of self-help articles I've read, it will be that it is important to hold yourself accountable for your goals. By allowing myself to shy away from making any of my resolution public, I am as good as telling myself that it is okay to not achieve your plans, because no one knows.

I gave myself countless excuses to not blog about it, ranging from "it's too personal" to "WHY SHOULD I???" - but it all boils down to a whisper of "what if I don't make it?"

I mean, it is quite personal, and my blog is in no way a private journal (my mom has been asking my blog link - for herself, her friends and my neighbour wtf - so many times I'm running out of ways to change the topic wtf.)  (And no she doesn't read my blog almost at all; That, I have mixed feelings for wtf)

But 2014 is all about change; and today, I change that.

Before anything else, I'd like you to know that I am sharing this with you, whoever you are, because I trust you. And if you know me you'd know that I have the hardest time with trust issues. I gave the longest thought about this. So please don't judge k wtf

Here goes:

Resolution 1# Make healthier food choices
I'm not going to lie - I eat heaps of junk food. And I'm not proud of it. 
Yes, I will always be grateful for being blessed with a small figure despite the amount of food I inhale, but my medical report won't lie. My health is, lightly put, at risk. If I'm being brutally honest, I am only a few French toasts away from being a triggered time-bomb. In other words, I am a fat kid in a skinny body.

I took it very lightly at first: I am, after all, 20, right?
Wrong. I have been hearing stories of young people dying of cardiac arrests or some other health issues all my life, but never have those stories hit home. Until recently.

Long story short, I don't want to die so soon wtf.

On a brighter note, since the end of 2013, I found a genuine love for treadmill running and I have never been happier (must be the endorphins lol). I do occasional HIITs but I pretty much cheat my way through lolol.

Resolution 2# Learn well
And by this, I don't just mean "study well" because the word study itself makes me want to hide in a heap of hay and never come out.
Learning is quite different. I love learning new things. I love learning new things about everything, I love learning how to do everything, I love learning everything.

Well of course, "everything" would include my entire ACCA syllabus. And it is the oddest thing to say, but I won't deny that I actually am pretty willing to do this wtf. It is my last proper year as a student, and I really just want to make the best out of it.
Also, because I'm a study-high addict who is contented with just so many things to learn it is exciting 
(I may or may not change my view on this when the time gets near exams wtf)

Resolution 3# Give and Take
I read somewhere that there are two types of people: the Takers and the Givers. The takers are the ones who feel the need to take everything they can; whereas the givers are the ones who never hesitate to contribute everything they have, be it monetary or just support and kind words.
But well, things are never really that clear cut so people usually just hover in between, tending more to one side or another.
Both giving and taking are equally important, but keeping the balance is crucial.
My challenge is to learn to take as much as learning to give, and keeping a graceful balance between them.

Givers, if you read this, please remember that you have to give yourself too. Remember that you cant water plants with an empty water can; and you can't give love without being full of love first.
Remember, there is always enough.

Resolution 4# Be human
Make mistakes. Slip-up. Slip-down. Cry. Laugh. Yell. Fail. Be mad. Take bad selfies.
Most importantly, be okay with it.

I've never thought about it this way, but it is apparent that I may have subconsciously tried to live up to an image of having a perfect life. (Which, by the way, I have never intended to portray or even dared think that I live a life that is anywhere near perfect.)
I don't remember when did it matter so much if anyone knew that I was unhappy or felt messed up.
Come to think of it, I am usually practically mute when I was with my friends/relatives I have not established a firm ground with in fear that they will find the things I say unintelligent or meaningless. I even had a phase where I would rather walk around half-blind than to let anyone other than my immediate family see me in glasses.

I forgot I was human.

Realizing this itself put more sense in everything.
See, I have never exactly expected myself to be perfect. I've always regarded myself as a bundle of flaws and imperfections blessed with the most magical people around me who are intensely generous in giving love and compassion, and am genuinely completely fine with it.

I guess I thought it was easier to not do anything out of character than to explain.
Which brings me to the next point.

Resolution 5# Stop explaining
I release the need of explaining anything to anyone, including myself. 

There's no need to. Unless providing the explanation would make a significant difference, there really is no need for it. Unless an explanation is called for, you have no duty to do so.

So yes, this is my 5 resolutions. Gonna be keeping things simple this year because god knows I have a brain with the structure of an amoeba wtf.

I promise to accomplish the most I can. Can't wait to review the progress this year end! 

I'll blog again soon!
Love yall ♥ xxx