Possibly the closest word there is to describe my recent state of mind. 

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Ever since my beautiful find of The Secret, my outlook on life changed in the most drastic ways. (Yes, I am very aware that I sound ancient but it is true.)

My balance in life had never been well even prior to this; and just as I was about to (read: remotely) get hold of a socially acceptable idea of a "balanced" life, this book comes stumbling in, dragging along a few tens of books I subsequently read, knocked down almost every single believe I've been taught all my life (except for maybe gravity - though I do question even that some days), and reaffirmed some of the most outrageous thoughts I toy with.

Some days I fear I read and ponder so much I might just think myself into insanity; some other days I have the strongest desire to know and understand everything under the sky and beyond. 

It's truly numinous.

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Oh and the title?

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“I am by nature a dealer in words, and words are the most powerful drug known to humanity.” 

Rudyard Kipling 1865 – 1936

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Love yall

xoxo