Jan 31, 2015 Saturday, January 31, 2015 | 0 comments

"No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent." 
- Eleanor Roosevelt
- - -

There was an experiment done, where there were 3 beakers of water left out side by side, and every day, the researcher would spend a minute with each of the beakers every day for a month (or was it a week?). For the first one, he spoke words of kindness - thank yous and I love yous; the second, he cursed and yelled at. The third was left aside, used as a constant.

At the end of the month, the water in the first beaker was clear, cleaner even; the one in the second beaker had visible particles of dusts and dirt; the third, remained almost the same, but was no where as clean as the one in the first beaker. 

The human body is made of approx 80% water. Mine now has the consistency of liquid gelatin.

My balance for humility and confident is one of those things that I can't seem to grasp well. I have always been in a position tending a little too much towards the humility side of the scale, but lately, it tipped a little too far for comfort.

I haven't been speaking kindly to myself.
Frankly, I haven't been consistently kind about anything. And it feels horrible.

It has been way too long a time since I last did a proper reflection, and because of that I have strayed too far from my core. In all bad there is good, and so I am thankful this yucky feeling is a wonderfully timely wake up call.

I allowed self-pity to blind me from seeing that all that I have are blessings and beyond. I allowed my ego and vanity to compare myself with others, when I should have known better that greed bears no good fruit. I compromised love and light for discontentment and thanklessness.
These are my mistakes, and I am sorry.

For all that I have spoken ill of, I am sorry and I love you. My criticisms and disparaging on myself have caused tough words to be unjustly placed upon you, in thoughts or in words. I am sorry.

"Maktub" is Arabic, meaning "It is written".
For all that I am, I am; it is what it is for a reason.
I may not know, but I choose to trust.

No promises that it'll never happen again, but I will be watchful and reasonable heh.
Counting blessings always ♥  (:

Thank you for always reading my messy thoughts.
Love you xx (: