Being 22 is a lot harder than I thought. 

Adjusting to working life is taxing as hell. I'm hoping so much that it's just a phase, and a month is honestly too soon to tell, but I really dread weekdays so much right now I have never felt like this? I usually feel indifferent or enthusiastic about any existing days, but this past month flew by like it didn't happen. 

Fairly speaking, I have never worked in my current field or anything similar - heck, I've never worked in job that requires my presence for a week straight. I keep wondering if this is what it's supposed to be like: mentally taxing, tiring, and stuck. 

The only few November days I remember are the ones that dont relate to work - which is like 3 occasions. But days were so long, every day felt like 4 days am I still making sense hahaha 

Some days I tell myself it is because I have been so lucky to live a laid back life all this time I dont know how true work life feels like. But some days I question if I should risk losing a big chunk of myself and stick to the status quo because it is deemed "the best route" for many.

I've always believed that living should be exactly that - being alive; feeling alive - and I have been. I've finally found myself to be genuinely happy and in love with almost everything, but I seem to have lost a lot of that just one month of "phase".

Those who knew me through my entire last decade will know I fought hard. I fought hard to find myself a space - a state of mind, if you please - that I am proud, comfortable, and genuinely happy being in. Nothing is more precious to me than genuine happiness itself. 

There's a lot to figure out, but for now, I'm just gonna trust that the Universe will send me all that I need when time is due. 

"Nous croyons en l'amour"  - in love, we trust. 

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Thank you for reading.

Gonna be ranting a lot more from now on hahaha

Love you x 

Please send love.