daphiexn
Dear 2017
Dec 30, 2017 Saturday, December 30, 2017 | 0 comments

Dear 2017,


The year before, 2016, was a year of tremendous change. And as it is every year, I am never the same person the when we met and as you leave (that would be an awful waste of time, wouldn't it?). But this time, more than ever, you've made me a person I couldn't never imagine calling me.

You were a year of stillness, just as you were a year of panic.

Change is an inevitable constant and is always so overwhelming, but you were a storm I felt oddly at ease with. I am literally in a time-space far away from the home I'm used to, but I feel more than comfortable being in this place I've never seen a little more than a month ago. I'm starting to think we're all nomads at heart and everywhere is just a home I learn to love quickly.

You were the year of self-discovery in midst of chaos.

Or was it the chaos you were that aided the finding, I can't decide.
To paraphrase Suzanne Wagner, in chaos you find clarity because chaos destabilizes your old ways and forces you into the new. In chaos, you learn that you were never really in charge. And you did exactly that. I am constantly reminded that what we truly have is the second we are experiencing and decided there is nothing I want more than to be bold and put as much of myself out there as my heart would allow in spite of fear, and love with the entirety of my heart, and then love some more.

Because if all you can only have now, there is no regrets of the past, there is no fear for the future - only the decision to experience everything that is presented to you at its rawest, purest state, and realize nothing has to be done.

You were a year of calm and routine, but also impulses and recklessness.

And I'm finally the closest to being as much myself as I know to be.
Cliche as it is, nothing is more blissful than being in the most natural state of self. Everything is easy and instinctive and exhilarating, everything just floats and flows in a magical speed. The state is nothing less than ecstasy; so much so even in the worst times, there is an irrational comfort I can't explain.

So, thank you.

Thank you for being the kindest year. You brought me every growth I needed, and comfort in all magnitudes, in forms of everything ranging from an unexpected presence to a glimpse of the most beautiful sight of dawn. Incidentally, in growth, there is also a consequential change in distance. For that, I'm grateful you brought the people who loved me through time to light, and I'm grateful for those who love me as I am.

Thank you for being a year of shifts and changes, in so many ways. The last of you was an intense surge of adrenaline and speed and euphoria. Momentum picked up so quickly, the faster it got, the faster it got, and suddenly everything is different, and there is nothing I would change. You proved that the universe always provides generously, and everything is in time. My heart is grateful to be at ease, knowing more than ever everything happens for a reason, and I place trust in knowing that all is perfect as it is.

It wasn't all rainbows and sunshine, but with and above all, you embedded in me the idea that joy and love is a state, not a circumstantial reaction. 

Thank you for being exactly what you were. You passed so fast I'm barely ready to let you go.
Time is equal, but memories make some more significant that others. And you are one of the years I visit more often than the rest.

Ku'i 'ia ke kukui pili ke aloha;
Pili ke aloha kau maila e;
A Hala I Ka Lani.

All love,
Farewell.

-
Thank you for reading!x
Ending the year my favorite way I know. 
A lot has happened this year and many decisions had to be made,
but everyday I wake up feeling like the luckiest hooman. 

Thank you for bringing a little abstract piece of me with you.
I hope 2018 will bring you more love than your heart can contain. (:
Love you x


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