Every year I set a new year resolution to do at least 10 Firsts/News; and 2019 has been a year of many.

- For one, I dived for the first time and got my open water diving license.
Since I remember, I seek comfort in being close to water (mostly just swimming or drawing a bath – indoors mostly, as I have yet fully love the sun). I have been - and always will be - a water baby, but it never crossed my mind to imagine a day I would be amongst fishes and corals. Some fear the sea for not knowing what it holds, but I love it exactly for that. It is humbling to be reminded that there is so much we don’t know and understand about this earth and those we share the world with, yet we rarely hesitate to enforce our opinions on what is to be done for our convenience.

- This was also the year I picked up the Ukulele.
I’ve been thinking about picking up another musical instrument for a few years now but have put it off many times with flimsy excuses. Christmas this year, I put a Ukulele on my secret Santa wish list and the rest was history. Ngl to date I have only spent a total of maybe 5 hours on the Uke and have only one piece I can sing and play to wtf but it’s a start (?).
(Also went for a few drum classes but I’m still far from calling it a skill at all wtf so cannot say it’s “picked up” yet wtf)

- Got a sibling tattoo with ma sis (!!)
D is going away from home to Aus so we thought it’s finally time we should put our sibling tattoo idea to action. It was a rather short adventure really – we decided on the design and placement in a day and got a tattoo appointment on the next so the whole experience was 2days (plus a lifetime wtf), and now it’s my favorite tattoo with no competition There is little story to this, but I’m so grateful for parents who are wildly accepting and fully trust us with our actions (we went home and showed them our tattoos without any chance of hinting that we were getting inked – much less one slightly bigger than the size of a poker card hahaha)

- It is a first at having a place to call (kinda) Ours.
T and I moved in in the last quarter of the year. The opportunity chanced upon us when we discovered a decent space for two and decided to “share a place”. We didn’t think much about it until we put the pieces together and we were like wtf 我们在同居??? #dum (I brought it up once the day we moved in but T was like… “I guess?” ¯¯\_(ヅ)_/¯  then later went thru a 10-minute episode of perplexity, 3 days later wtf).

- First time missing a flight wtf
Sad story 不要提了 wtf

-Actively participated in Toastmasters and did a prepared speech for the first time
I personally love impromptu speeches because it really tests your knowledge on very random things and ability to think on your feet and forces you to do your best (you’re literally put on the spot haha). The adrenaline is absurd, but not as nerve-wrecking as having to share core parts of oneself to a large audience. Far from my best, given I barely had time to write anything more than abstract sentences in point forms, but it was a step out of my comfort zone for sure.

And there were many simpler firsts – first as a wedding plus-one, first time getting picked up by a guy A DECADE younger WTF (the wildest joke of 2019 – and also a rude reminder that kids 10 years my junior is already out dating???? Brb gna check myself in a museum wtf), found out that my alcohol intolerance do not include moscato, first birthday not spent working/studying (had the best birthday celebration(s) to date – I’m extremely spoilt by having really so many good people in my life I will never understand how I got so lucky), and many firsts in my career I won’t go about (boring stuff only I care about haha).

--

This has been a year of learning how to live listening to both my heart and my head.

I have never been more comfortable in my headspace as I have this year. It is a journey of permanent progress, but I am getting better at reminding myself that I have no duty to be liked by the entire population that has contact with me, and that the version of me in another’s head is not my responsibility – I merely must live honest to my heart, and find peace in my head.

2019, thank you for being so very kind to me. Thank you for giving me a reason to laugh every day, and thank you for giving me courage to love easily and freely. Thank you for shining light on the people who deserve a permanent space in my life – they are those I have decided to keep forever, and thank you for always surrounding me with the greatest people. You have brought me memories I relive a million times in my head and still stifle a laugh, and you have brought me an immense amount of joy. I love you for that.


May 2020 be a year of abundant joy and happiness, health and prosperity, and love of all kinds ❤️
OLD / NEW