I read somewhere (im thinking tumblr circa 2012) - loosely paraphrased - “you are what you eat, but you are also what you read and think and speak”, and I think about that all the time. 

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With the internet and its speed of churning content, we have the luxury to be exposed to many forms of media literally all the time, it takes real discipline (a skill which I unfortunately have not learnt) to be picky with the information we choose to consume. 

Everything is so fast-paced and immediate and now-now-now, sometimes I wonder if technology saved us time or just compressed it? cause while it does help get things done faster, the expectation becomes that we are to get more things done sooner, and that hardly is “free” time really. 

But that’s a topic for another day.

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I think we are made more of the words we hear (and are defined by the words we choose to speak). I can only speak for myself when I say that more often than not, the conversations that changed my mind were from casual conversation I expect nothing of, usually taken place in the wee hours (maybe that’s why I have a particular love for the small hours idk). These conversations were never intentional - the person who spoke probably have no idea to this day how much it has changed my perspective of things - but words have that magic: it lingers in your head and finds its way to the residual fragments of other conversations and create a web of thoughts that now make a part of you. 

With that, I am keeping this list of conversation excerpts here (I’m pretty sure I’ve written strings of words with similar essence, but.. eh).

2. “You realize you always do that - double standardising yourself? How is it that you forgive people for doing something but when you do the same thing you kick yourself so hard?”

3. “You are plenty enough, even if you don’t think that yet - but you will.”

4. “Honestly, I know where I want to be, but I don’t know what to do yet, BUT when the time comes, I will know what to do.. i think. Until then, we chill.” 

5.  “Sleeping early is the responsible thing to do, but i’m not doing that today” (I replace “sleeping early” with other things on days I decide that recklessness is a choice I am making hahahaha) 

6.  “There’s nothing wrong with boring if you like it.”

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Of course there are no rules to say what we should or should not do - we are free to choose what we speak and hear and think, and we are free to choose the matters and people we spend our time on. But the paradox of the freedom of choice is, while you are free to choose as you wish, you are not free of the consequences of your choice.

So I’m ending this post with this:

Let this be a gentle sign to keep your circle soft and kind and with people who you really really like (i.e. without the influence of external substance like alcohol wtf). 

May your heart be light and your breath easy ✨

ilyvm gn xxx

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