Dear younger self,

Hi. 

It is a week short to a year since I last written to you/for you. I keep saying I will write more, and I would blame it on time being scarce and work being absolutely consuming, but the truth for anything undone is always because it wasn't put before all else at any point of time. And I'm guilty for that. 

Come time, there will be a day where you see the world expects you to follow your mind and hush your heart. And all I ask is for you to please never drift too far. 

-

Time is relative, and I've come to believe the theory that the same amount of time is relatively longer when you're 15 than when you're 25. The past year felt like half, with too many things compressed in the tiny time frame. It has been nothing short of excitement and chaos; discomfort was an ongoing theme (but good always come out of it) and time has been passing too fast and too slow at the same time and some few days I wish time would stop so I could just breathe. 

-

But if there was one thing I took away from the past 12 months, it is this: 

You will always get what you wish for. 

And if you don't, it's because of resistance in your beliefs (very long story la go read up wtf). 

Things will come in play for you to get what you wished for - sometimes, to get to where you want to be requires you to do things so far out of your comfort zone; sometimes, things just happen to you, for you. But even the tiniest motion causes a ripple, and a ripple in life really is a disorder before a new order. My promise to you is that all is happening in your favour, and that when your wish is what your heart's desire, even in chaos, there will be calmness, and your heart will rest. 

Everything you wish for comes to you the minute you allow and let go and be happy.

And I want you to know that it's okay.

No matter what, no matter when, no matter how. 

There will be days you outdo yourself; and there will be days where your best effort is not good enough. There will be days your heart drowns in joy and love and happiness enough to share with every person you greet; and there will be days where the introvert in you protests so hard you can't even bring yourself to reply a text.

There will be days where you wake up feeling like your heart overflows with an abundance of love and gratitude and you wouldn't even mind the sun, the days you want to live forever; but there will also be days where it feels like morning came too soon and your heart is heavy and all you want to do is curl up in a ball and pretend you don't exist.
 But that's okay. You're okay.

Blessed are the days where you take care of yourself so well, adulting feels like it's a pleasant task; but also blessed are the days where nothing goes right, and all you can do is pray for a dream that lets you remember how it feels like to rely on others and righteously do so.
Because it is in desire, we learn what we want; and in contrast, we learn and adjust and make progress.

It is an unfortunate circumstance that the hours we put in "real life" makes taking care of ourselves a luxury we sometimes can't afford (try to, tho?) - not just the food and exercise and sleep, what consumes the most is the self-talk, stress, anxiety, and unnatural breathing. Your body and mind goes through a lot with little time to revamp and reset - overhaul, if you will.

So please be kind.

Quoting Robin Sharma, "there are no mistakes, on lessons". Learn from what you wish you could do better, but please speak to yourself with kindness and empathy, and forgive yourself (and others) for what cannot be undone, and remember "as above, so below; as within, so without."- life happens not to you, but because of you.

 Nous croyon en l'amour - In love, we trust.
As always, I love you, beyond words and numbers that can never define you.

Love,
I wonder what you would say, if you could see me now.

I'm sorry
Please forgive me 
Thank you
I love you.
-
Thank you for reading! 
Writing remains to be my favourite way to sort my thoughts.
But I havent written for so long everything is all over the place. 
Not the most pleased with the outcome, but done is better than perfect I guess.  
We live and we learn, and today I learn to be equal with kindness.

Thank you for taking a piece of my growth with you.
I hope your heart is light today, everyday. 
Sending love x