This is probably one of the most bimbo post ever.
Apr 3, 2012 Tuesday, April 03, 2012 | 5 comments

If I'm being honest, I am probably one of the shallowest person I know. 
My confidence level is mainly based on how I look: my weight, how I dress, and most out of all, contact lenses. If you have read my post some time ago, you'd get a vague idea of how much contact lenses mean to me.

Contact lenses are meant to make things more convenient. I started of using them because of gym class. And a bloody pimple that grew on my nose-bridge wtf. Until then, it wasn't that bad. Then I got hold of colored contact lenses with pupil-enlarging effect. And ever since, I couldn't leave house without those lenses. 
And it was life-changing, in a negative way. I haven't been swimming for a very long time  'cause I couldn't bare the thought of not wearing the contact lenses. There was this once where I swam with the contact lenses on, and the chlorine stung so badly. But I opt to bare with the pain that to take it off. 
I skipped classes when I had eye infections or when my eyes just wouldn't cooperate with the lenses. 
Then it came to one point where I avoid mirrors when I have my specs on. Yes that bad.

I credited the contact lenses for all the flattering compliments people give. (Well, what more can you  think of when the first thing most people tell you is that you have big eyes that make you look so animated?) I avoided sleepovers because I didn't want people to see how I look like without contact lenses. I was afraid that people might feel cheated.
My dependence on the contact lenses, I now realize, was even part of the reasons I never was ready for a relationship. I was convinced that people love me (or rather, say they love me) because of those contact lenses. Those huge pupils. Not me. 
And I'm not the only one who's like this. I know of some people who are, too, as depended of the big-eye lenses as I am. I know there are many who can relate to this situation, being so depended on something you wouldn't allow yourself to leave house without. Let it be your mascara, your eye-liner, grey contact lenses, or your iPhone wtf.

I don't want to live like that. I know, you're probably reading this post like "Meh, what the hell, bimbo maximum" but that's how I really feel. I don't want to be trapped in by a pair of contact lens. 
To me, those contact lenses are like.. your iPhone. it's something you're so dependent on you feel insecure without it. And please, don't tell me iPhone is an essential need. You can blardy well survive with a 3310 too. But if given a choice, you wouldn't. 

I still love those color contact lenses, and I still prefer those lovely lenses. 
But for now, bear with me. 
I need to learn to stop being ashamed of my real eyes, of my blessed natural feature. 
How do I expect anyone else to accept me if I can't even accept myself? 

So if you find my pictures different, you know why. :)

For now, 
This is the face you'll need to get used to. :) 

And, I'd like to thank this awesome person who told me
"Different doesn't mean ugly, it just means different." 
Thank you. :)

This shall be a start to a new beginning.

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